Untold secrets
by Happy Fae
Summary: A figure from Abby's past turns up at the hospital, forcing her to relive her painful experiences
1. Meeting

This is my second fanfic and am still writing the other one. Thanks to everyone that has reviewed it so far. This is another that I wrote at 2:00 in the morning. Sorry if the chapters are a little short.  
  
Disclaimer - they ain't mine, I want them to be but I don't think that the good people that own ER would sell them to me for the £10 I have in my money box. Damn. (Sorry, I don't know what that is in dollars. $7?)  
  
UNTOLD SECRETS  
  
Chapter 1 - Meeting  
  
It was freezing outside County General that day, but the girl hardly noticed. She was standing there staring at the door, trying to find the courage to walk in and face her past.  
  
She was wishing she could just walk in there, cool as anything, but she was also cursing herself for letting her curiosity take over. What if she wasn't wanted at this place? What if the person she had been searching for wasn't even here? Where would she go? She didn't have a home anymore; she gave that up the moment she stepped on that plane.  
  
She just stood there, staring........  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
Inside the hospital, the staff didn't know what to do with themselves. The hospital was quieter than ay of them had ever experienced it.  
  
And it was driving Abby Lockhart crazy.  
  
She was still trying to get over her break-up with Carter, but it wasn't easy when there wasn't anything to keep herself occupied. She needed to keep busy, take her mind off him and that stupid letter he had sent her three weeks beforehand. 'Who breaks up with their girlfriend by letter anyway?' she so frequently asked herself.  
  
She needed a distraction. And that distraction was waiting out side the hospital, still trying to gather her courage.  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
Outside the girl shivered, worked up the guts, took a deep breath, and stepped inside.  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
"Excuse me?" the girl asked the doctor standing at the front desk. "I'm looking for an Abigail Wycenzki, does she work here?"  
  
"I recognise that name," she replied "oh, of course! It's Abby. I'll go and find here for you, just take a seat. Can I take a name?"  
  
"Josie Branner, she might remember me."  
  
"Oh, you know Abby?"  
  
"Yup. Are you her friend?"  
  
"Yes, I'm Susan Lewis; we've worked together for a few years now. Hang tight, I'll be as quick as I can."  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
Abby was in the doctors lounge when Susan found her. She had been drinking a cup of coffee, trying to forget Carter, but everything in the room reminded her of him. The day they sat on the couch in the corner when Abby first suspected Eric was bi-polar. He had been so supportive.  
  
When Susan walked in, Abby had tears running down her face as she remembered the times they spent together. She quickly covered them up though; she didn't want Susan to think she was weak. Susan didn't notice, it was dark in the lounge.  
  
"There's a girl waiting for you outside."  
  
"For me? Who?" Abby asked, getting to her feet.  
  
"She says her name is Josie Branner, she looks about sixteenish."  
  
Abby froze  
  
"Anyway, she's been waiting outside for about 10 minutes now." Susan continued.  
  
Abby still hadn't moved  
  
"Abby? Is there something wrong?" "No! No, I'm fine, err, we should go" Abby replied, covering up her surprise. She was shaking.  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
As she looked over to the chairs she knew exactly who she was looking for, and saw her almost immediately. It had been 16 years since Abby had last seen her, but she felt like she had known her for years.  
  
She looked so much like Abby.  
  
Painful memories sprung to Abby's mind, memories she had pushed down a long time ago.  
  
Josie stood up as they reached her.  
  
'Now's the time, I can't back out now' they were both thinking.  
  
"Josie......" Abby started, she couldn't do this, couldn't face it. She was crying. They both were.  
  
"Abby, are you ok?" Susan asked, bringing Abby back into reality.  
  
"Yeah, umm Susan. This is Josie.....my daughter."  
  
To be continued.........................  
  
* * * * * * * * * * * * *  
  
Right, hope you like it. Please read and review. I love all reviews, so even if you hated every painful second of it please tell me and let me know what I can do to change it. If you liked it, please tell me and I'll update soon. 


	2. Explanations

Right, thank you to all that have reviewed so far. I love the reviews. I wrote the rest of my last fic last week so didn't get a chance to update this one. I know this story is completely unbelievable but I wanted to do something different, so just imagine it could be true.  
  
Chapter 2 - Explanations  
  
"Your what?!" Susan asked astounded. Abby had never said anything about having a daughter. She'd always been afraid of having kids for fear that she would pass on her mothers' disorder.  
  
Abby led them both into an exam room. They were starting to get funny looks standing in the middle of the hospital crying.  
  
"How did you know I was here?" Abby asked.  
  
"I made some calls, tracked you down." Josie replied.  
  
This was the first time in Josies' life that Abby had heard her speak. She had a English accent. No wonder she couldn't find her in America.  
  
"I came for some answers to why you left me"  
  
Abby knew this day would come, when she would have to tell of the pain she had suffered which she had pushed away so long ago.  
  
"I was 19 when I had you. His name was James, we went to school together. I was having problems at home. I had to look after my brother Eric all the time, my mother was hardly ever there. James became a bit of a refuge for me, to escape my problems. Then I got pregnant. And you were born. I never told my mum, she was so hyped up with herself that she never noticed me. When you were born you lived with your father. He had his own apartment. I visited you everyday, I loved you so much, and I wanted to protect you from all the problems that I had experienced. But then James started to get very strange with me. He wouldn't let me see you or spend anytime with you. Then one day I went to visit and he had gone, with you. He left me a note. Said he couldn't keep going on living like this and that he didn't need me anymore. I didn't give up hope though. I would drive to all different places trying to find the two of you but you had gone, leaving no traces. I never thought I'd see you again. After that I didn't believe I was fit to be a mother. Convinced myself that James had taken you away because I was a bad mother. I even had an abortion 6 years ago partly because I didn't want to have my heartbroken again."  
  
When she finished she sat down in a chair and buried her face in her hands. Susan went over to comfort her. She hadn't had any clue about any of this. Abby hadn't even told her of the abortion. 'Had she kept all this to herself all this time?' she thought. Josie was sitting down; she could hardly believe what she had been hearing. Her Dad had always told her that her Mum had walked out on her. She knew that Abby's mother had a mental problem and that it could have been passed on to her. James had always said that Abby had left because she couldn't bear to live with another 'head case'. And she had believed it. But sitting here, seeing her mother in tears, she knew that she was the one that was telling the truth. And she knew that it was finally time she forgave her mum. She got up and walked over to the two women.  
  
"Abby?" she said, "I'm sorry, I never realised Dad could have been lying to me. There was just no other option for me to believe."  
  
And then she recalled to Abby the lie she had been made to believe all her life.  
  
Susan stood up, Abby and her daughter needed each other right now. As she looked at them hugging, she noticed the similarities between them. She hadn't noticed it at first but to see them together, face to face, it was obvious. They had the same eyes and mouth, their hair fell in front of their faces in the same way and even, despite the different accents, they sounded alike too.  
  
"What made you want to find me?" Abby asked through her tears.  
  
"I don't know. I guess I was just curious to find out where I came from. And I wanted some answers."  
  
"I never dreamt that your Father could have taken you to England. He always talked of going there but never actually went. I think he had family there. I guess that when he left he was following his dream and he took you with him. I've always blamed myself for letting you go." Abby said.  
  
"I don't blame you.....Mum" Josie said quietly.  
  
"I've waited so long to hear those words" Abby cried, "up until now I've only been able to dream about it. You'll never know how happy you've made me!"  
  
"Yeah, I can imagine," Josie replied, "I've finally found my mum."  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
10 minutes later, after more hugging and crying, Abby realised that her shift had ended.  
  
"Come on Josie, let's go home. I need to make arrangements to introduce you to my mum."  
  
"Jesus! I'd never thought of that! I have a new Grandmother too! And a Grandfather?" Abby shook her head,  
  
"No, but you have an Uncle"  
  
"Yep. And a step dad?" she asked quietly  
  
Abby stopped. She realised that she hadn't thought of Carter for about twenty minutes now, but this question brought everything flooding back.  
  
"Sensitive subject?" Josie asked.  
  
"Yeah, you could say that" Abby replied, glad she didn't have to answer at that moment.  
  
They walked out of the exam room and back out to the front desk. It wasn't until he turned around did Abby realise who was standing there talking to Frank and Jerry.  
  
"Carter!"...........  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
To be continued...........  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
Well please let me know what you thought of this chapter by clicking the little button in the corner of the screen. I welcome all reviews. If you have any questions then stick them up there and I'll do my best to answer them all. Thank you for reading so far. Bubbles. XxX 


	3. Carter returns

Not feeling well today so thought I'd take the time to update my story. Thanks to janbry, Ilovejakeander and Jessica Lockhart for reviewing the last chapter. Sorry I haven't updated in a while. School work got a bit hectic. Oh and by the way, kem does not exist in this story; I didn't want to put her in.  
  
Chapter 3 - Carter returns  
  
Abby stood still and stared, hardly believing what she was seeing. It had been 4 months since she had last seen John Carter, and here he was, standing right in front of her large as life. She never thought he was coming back. She didn't even know if she would see him again after he walked away from her that night.  
  
"John! What are you doing here?" she finally managed to say..  
  
"I missed everyone. I wanted to see home again, that sort of stuff." He replied.  
  
Abby's heart dropped, he wasn't here to see her then. Just then she realised how stupid she must look to him, with her tear stained face.  
  
"Abby, are you ok? You look as though you've been crying." He asked her.  
  
"Yeah, I'm fine" she replied, touched at how concerned he sounded. "Umm Susan? Can you take Josie to the cafeteria for a drink or something? I'll meet you there in a while."  
  
"Sure." Susan replied, she knew Abby needed time alone to talk to John. Abby watched them walk away, only turning around as John next spoke to her.  
  
"Who's Josie?"  
  
"I'll explain later, it's a long story. Can we talk?"  
  
"I was about to ask the same thing."  
  
He followed her into the exam room she had just poured open her heart in a few moments previously.  
  
"I have to explain why I left." Carter started, and then he paused.  
  
"Go on" she pushed.  
  
"I needed to find myself. I know that sounds terribly clichéd but it is the only way I can think of explaining it. When I first went to Africa I discovered things about myself that I never knew. Then I came back to Chicago and I felt, out of place somehow, like I didn't belong. I felt at home in Kisangani. I could really make a difference to peoples lives there, in a completely different way to how I can here. I needed to finalise things with you and me. That is why I wrote you that letter. I know it was a completely unsympathetic way of ending it and I regret doing that to you, I'm sorry. It was only last week that I realised no matter how much they needed me in Africa, I was needed here too. I remembered how I got the feeling of being 'at home' here as well as in Africa, especially when I was with you. So I guess I've come back to see if you would consider us getting back together. I know that I have hurt you, and you hurt me too but I think that we can put all that behind us, start over. It'll take some work but I think that this worth working for and I am prepared to work for what we can have. What do you say huh, Abby?"  
  
"I think that is one of the best ideas you have had in a long time. I think I understand why you went now. I've had a lot of time to think things through as well, and I've realised that life without you really, really sucks."  
  
"I love you Abby."  
  
"I love you too John." As she said those words warmth spread all through her body and all of a sudden she felt that nothing could go wrong at that time, as long as held her and kissed her, everything would be ok.  
  
"So what are we going to do now?" Carter asked.  
  
"Right now? Well I have to go and get Josie, take her home."  
  
"Who is Josie? Earlier all three of you looked like you had been crying."  
  
Abby took a deep breath, this could change everything. What if he was mad? What if he didn't want anything to do with Abby after this? She had to tell him, he was staring at her puzzled.  
  
"There's something I have to tell you Carter. It's something I hadn't told anyone until fifteen minutes ago."  
  
"What is it? Is it to do with Josie?"  
  
"Yes, John, she's my daughter."  
  
Carter froze, unable to believe what he had heard. Abby had always said that she told him everything, yet here she was, saying something she hadn't even hinted at before. She knew he would react like this, she hadn't expected anything less. And so she told him the story she had told her daughter a few moments before. By the end, John had tears running down his face. His Abby, his beautiful Abby had experienced all this hurt and never told a soul. No wonder she had trouble admitting her feelings and bottled them all up inside, blocking everyone she cared about out, it was what she had become used to. Suddenly everything fitted into place. Why she was reluctant to talk about the two of them having kids, why she felt so much resentment towards her mother, for if she hadn't had to look after Eric she might never have lost Josie and why she sometimes felt strangely distant, as if there was something she was hiding.  
  
"Are you angry with me for not telling you sooner?"  
  
He shook his head. How could he be angry with her? She had suffered so much already and her only crime had been to have kept it all to herself, probably causing her even more pain.  
  
"No, I don't. In fact, I think it's made me love you even more." With that she looked up at him, a gleam in her eyes.  
  
"Really?" she hardly believed what he had said. He nodded and she jumped into his arms.  
  
"I know it's early days and we've only just got back together, but if we are going to start off where we left off then Abby? Will you marry me?"  
  
She screamed slightly. She couldn't believe it. She almost though she was in a dream and had to pinch herself to believe it. How could so much good happen to her in one day? After all these years of hurt and neglect, could her life finally be turning itself around?  
  
"I understand if you need to think." John said and Abby realised she hadn't said anything for a while; she had just been staring out to space.  
  
"I don't need anytime to think! Of course I will marry you. I just can't believe what an amazing day this has been. I start with nothing, then I get my daughter back, then you. I've never known so much good to happen to me in one day."  
  
"You're a good person Abby, you deserve to be happy."  
  
"We both do. And we will be, together, forever."  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
Five minutes later they walked into the hospital cafeteria holding hands. Abby spotted Josie and Susan sitting in a corner laughing.  
  
"What are you two giggling about?" she asked them.  
  
"Nothing much," Susan answered, "I was just amazed at how two people could be so alike, you look the same and sound the same, she's even got your sarcastic sense of humour Abby! There are two of you! Help us!"  
  
Abby laughed. "However will you cope Susan?"  
  
"I don't think I'll be able to. I think I'd better leave town now!" she said good naturedly.  
  
"Carter, I'd like you to meet my daughter Josie." Abby said. John smiled down at the young girl, Susan was right; it was incredible how these two people who had been apart for so long could be so alike.  
  
"Josie," Abby continued, "In answer to your question earlier, I'd like you to meet John Carter, your future step-father."  
  
Josie beamed up at Abby, she could see how happy this man made her and she was glad. Judging from what she had been told earlier, her mother hadn't experienced much happiness in her life and she fully deserved it now.  
  
On hearing John and Abby's news, Susan screamed and burst into tears of happiness, making them all laugh loudly.  
  
Abby looked around at the three of her most favourite people in the whole world. Her fiancé, the only man she had ever truly loved. Her best friend who had become her backbone in life, she couldn't have coped the last few months without Susan by her side. And finally her daughter, her beautiful daughter who Abby never thought she'd see again. She knew so little about her, she wanted to know what her favourite colour was; how old she was when she lost her first tooth; things mothers should know. Abby looked forward to getting to know her better and also to becoming a proper mother and wife, what she had wanted for a long time. She couldn't wait.  
  
To be continued........  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
Preview....  
  
'As Josie walked away she lifted up her top at the back to scratch her spine revealing yet another nasty bruise. Abby stared at it, knowing there was something Josie wasn't telling her.'  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
Thank you for reading so far. It isn't going to be plain sailing from here (obviously, that would just be boring) but bear with it please.  
  
Review please please please!!!!!!!!!! :-) 


	4. Hurt

I'm still ill so have taken another day off school. Gives me a chance to update! Thank you to MeliGurlJO, CarbyFan100 and ER-Carby-Luva for reviewing the last chapter. I love all the reviews.  
  
About time to add a disclaimer I think. - They're not mine, apart from Josie. If anyone has Abby or Carter stashed away in their house I would willingly take them.  
  
Chapter 4 - Hurt.  
  
As they walked out the cafeteria, John gave Abby a quick kiss goodbye. He was starting his first shift back and didn't want to be late. Susan also said goodbye because her break had ended ten minutes beforehand and Weaver was on the warpath. They all promised to meet at Abby's later that evening for they were going to all go out to dinner to celebrate the day's events.  
  
"Time to get you home then honey, I'll show you my apartment." Abby said as he other two walked off. They walked to the El and soon they were back at Abby's apartment.  
  
"So this is my new home." Josie said as she stepped inside.  
  
"Yup" Abby replied, "do you like it?" she was anxious for Josie to like her and her home.  
  
"Of course I do" she assured her "It's lovely." Josie could tell how nervous Abby was. Abby let out a sigh of relief.  
  
"Is there anywhere I can go to get changed?" Josie asked.  
  
Abby led her into her bedroom. It would have to do for now until she could find a two bedroom apartment. Josie would have to sleep on the couch. Abby explained this to her.  
  
"Oh, I don't mind, I'm used to it."  
  
"How come?"  
  
"I used to spend a lot of time round at my mates house, I had to sleep on her couch then."  
  
"I'll make us a drink, do you drink coffee?" Abby asked.  
  
"Yeah, 1 sugar. Thanks"  
  
Five minutes later Josie emerged in a different coloured t-shirt and jeans. Abby looked at her and giggled.  
  
"What?" Josie asked.  
  
"Oh, I was just thinking how weird this is, I have those jeans. It's spooky."  
  
And with that they both started to laugh. As they sat down with their coffee's Josie rolled up the sleeve of her top revealing several large bruises on her arms. Abby noticed them. When Josie saw Abby's look she quickly rolled them back down again.  
  
"Where did you get those bruises?" Abby asked, concerned.  
  
Josie searched for an excuse. "I, umm, I fell off my bike."  
  
"Josie, I know we haven't known each other that long but it's pretty obvious that you're lying to me."  
  
"Honestly, I'm fine." She protested.  
  
Josie yawned, "I'm sorry, but I'm really tired, do you mind if I have a sleep before we go out?"  
  
"Sure, you can use my bed." Abby replied.  
  
As Josie walked away she lifted up her top at the back to scratch her spine revealing yet another nasty bruise. Abby stared at it, knowing there was something Josie wasn't telling her. She wasn't going to say anything now though, she needed to sleep, it could wait.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
"Wake up Sleeping Beauty." Abby called as she gently pushed her daughter awake. "John and Susan will be here in twenty minutes, I thought you might like to get ready. Choose your clothes wisely though, it's freezing outside."  
  
"Ok, thanks Mum." She answered, still half-asleep.  
  
As Abby closed the door behind her she smiled to herself. It was the second time that day that she had been called Mum and it felt good. She was still worried though, she had to know where Josie got the bruises. Just then the phone rang.  
  
"Abby? Hi, it's Susan. John and I are going to be tied up for a little bit longer. A major MVA has just come in and they need us here, Pratt and Weaver have disappeared on us."  
  
"Ok, well give me a call when you leave"  
  
"I will, see you later."  
  
Josie walked out of Abby's room just as she put the phone down.  
  
"Who was that?" she asked, yawning.  
  
"Susan. She and John are going to be a bit later than planned, which is a good thing because I need to talk to you."  
  
"What's up?" asked Josie as she sat down on the couch next to Abby.  
  
"I want you to tell me where you got those bruises from. And be truthful this time."  
  
Josie sighed. "I had hoped they had gone, I didn't want you to worry about me."  
  
"Honey, I've worried about you since the day you were born."  
  
"Yeah I know."  
  
"Was it James? Did he hurt you?" Abby asked. Josie hesitated then nodded as a single tear rolled down her cheek.  
  
"I guess he was angry that I wanted to find you, find out the truth. He just.....just flipped. He threw things at me and stuff." She trailed off as remembered all the problems she had faced the last couple of months. Abby looked at her, horrified at what she was hearing.  
  
"It went on for about a month, he wouldn't let me out the house or make any calls for fear that I would try to find you. I moved out about a week ago. I managed to slip out while he was in the shower. I packed a few clothes together and the information I had managed to find to find about you and I went to my friends' house where I carried on searching. Dad found me though and dragged me home. He burnt all the information I had found and the picture I found in his room of you with me as a baby. But he couldn't destroy two things."  
  
"What's that?"  
  
"My determination to find you and also I knew that you worked at County General. I managed to slip out again, this time when he had got drunk and assed out on the couch. I emptied my savings account and flew here yesterday. I never want to see my father again, anyway I don't need him anymore, I've got you now."  
  
Abby felt hot tears sting her eyes and then run down her face. She felt so angry at this man who had inflicted so much pain upon her daughter and herself. She found herself shaking, unable to control herself. She looked up and saw Josie looking at her, also crying. Josie was surprised at how comfortable she felt with this woman who she had only met a couple of hours ago, but felt like she had known all her life. Looking at Abby, so angry on Josie's behalf, she knew where she belonged, at home, with her Mum. She shuffled herself over so she was sitting right next to Abby and put her arms around her in a tight hug. Abby responded in the same way.  
  
"He's never going to hurt you again, I'll make sure of that." She heard Abby say as she ran her hands through Josie's hair and kissed the top of her head.  
  
"It's ok, I'm home now." Josie replied.  
  
They stayed in the same position for a long time until Abby heard a knock at her door.  
  
"Oh, hang on, I should get that, it could be John."  
  
She stood up and walked to wards the door to open it. But as she did, she screamed.  
  
The face that was staring back at her hadn't changed in the last sixteen years but it now his eyes had an evil glint, a murderous stare.  
  
"Hello Abigail." He said with a smirk.  
  
"James!".................  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
To be continued........  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
PREVIEW....  
  
"Well if I can't have her, you can't have her either."  
  
"What does that mean? James? Answer me! James!!" Abby asked him, scared.  
  
He stopped, the murderous look was back in his eyes, and an evil smile flittered across his face.  
  
And he pulled out a gun.......  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
Thank you for reading so far, it will be updated soon. I'm trying to update more often but school takes over sometimes. Please review, tell me what you think. Can I improve? How? :-) 


	5. Say Goodbye

Hey, I'm still ill. I hate colds. But it means I can update quicker. Heehee. Thank you to Mary Kate113, Eve, MeliGurlJO and attack of the spacemonkey for reviewing the last chapter.  
  
Chapter 5 - Say Goodbye.  
  
"What are you doing here?" Abby asked nervously.  
  
"I've come to take MY daughter home, where is she?"  
  
"She's not here" Abby protested but Josie had got curious to who was standing at the door.  
  
"Who is it Mum?" she asked.  
  
"It's Daddy!" James screamed. He had flipped, he seemed out of control. He was defiantly drunk; Abby could smell the all too familiar smell of alcohol on his breath. Poor Josie, two alcoholic parents, what sort of an impression does that give a child? Abby cursed the day she drank her first bottle of tequila alone.  
  
"Time to go home Josie, Abby doesn't want you bothering her anymore."  
  
"That's not true!! I want her with me more than anyone in the whole world!" Abby yelled at him.  
  
"I'm not coming with you Dad. I've got a new home now, here with my Mum, I don't need you anymore."  
  
"Don't need me huh? That's nice. Who brought you up when your mother abandoned you?"  
  
"I didn't abandon her! I would never do that! You stole her, you kidnapped her." Abby interrupted.  
  
"You didn't want her."  
  
"I wanted her more than anything. You knew how much I loved her and you took that away from me. I almost fell apart after you left."  
  
"You never looked for her."  
  
"James! You took her to England for Christ's sake! How the HELL was I meant to find you there?"  
  
"Well if I can't have her, you can't have her either."  
  
"What does that mean? James? Answer me! James!!" Abby asked him, scared.  
  
He stopped, the murderous look was back in his eyes, and an evil smile flittered across his face.  
  
And he pulled out a gun.  
  
Abby and Josie screamed.  
  
"Dad. No!" Josie pleaded.  
  
"You wouldn't shoot your own daughter would you?"  
  
"No, you're right, I wouldn't, I'm not that stupid."  
  
Abby breathed a sigh of relief.  
  
"No Abby, I'm going to shoot you instead."  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
Outside John and Susan let themselves into Abby's building and made their way up to her apartment. They heard screams and stopped.  
  
"Abby?" John whispered to himself, scared.  
  
They heard Abby and Josie shout and as they moved closer they heard a man's voice, they could just make out his threats.  
  
"No Abby, I'm going to shoot you instead."  
  
"Call 911" John told Susan, "I'm going in."  
  
"John, no! You could get yourself killed!"  
  
"Yeah, but if I don't he could hurt Abby! Susan, I have to do this."  
  
"Ok, but please be careful John."  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
"Dad, please don't be stupid, you can't shoot my Mum, I've only just found her." Josie begged.  
  
"Well then, you won't miss her will you?" he was interrupted by a noise behind him. He spun around and came face to face with Carter.  
  
"Who are you?" he snarled.  
  
"John, you shouldn't be here, you should go." Abby told him.  
  
"You know this guy?" James asked.  
  
"Yeah, Abby's my fiancé." John replied.  
  
"Oh, how sweet. Well now you can watch her die too."  
  
Abby and John looked at each other, terrified; they didn't know how to stop him. He had all three of them trapped at one side of the apartment, the door behind James. He directed all three of them towards the kitchen chairs where he tied them up. John tried to resist but James put the gun to his head, forcing him to stop.  
  
"I need a drink." James said.  
  
"There's some beer in the fridge." Abby replied.  
  
John looked at her sharply.  
  
"It's non-alcoholic, don't tell him though." Abby whispered to John, although she was lying. She had bought them the day after John left but she hadn't drunk any. She just looked at them every time she needed reminding that she didn't need alcohol to get through her day, she wasn't as weak as she thought.  
  
James drank all six of the beers, one after the other. Soon he was swaying on the spot, slurring all his words. John knew that Abby had been lying to him, but now, he figured, was the wrong time to tell her. Besides, he told himself, she hadn't drunk any, he could see that.  
  
James stood three metres in front of Abby, his gun pointed at her heart.  
  
"Say goodbye, Bitch." James ordered.  
  
"I love you both." Abby said.  
  
"No! You can't do this, it isn't right!" John shouted, struggling against his restraints.  
  
Beside her, Abby felt Josie shudder; she was sobbing her heart out. Abby wanted to comfort her but she couldn't move, she was paralysed by fear. James untied Abby and stood her just in front of the other two, so they could see her die. James looked her straight in the eye and simply said,  
  
"Goodbye."  
  
The sound of a heart wrenching shot pierced the air, followed by John's shout and Josie's scream. Abby sunk to her knees; pain was flooding her whole body. She closed her eyes as she heard another shot. She couldn't open them to see who was hurt, she was too weak.  
  
"Help....." she whispered as she lapsed into unconsciousness.  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
To be continued.....  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
I think I'm going to write the next chapter now so I'm not going to bother with a preview. Please review!! ;-) 


	6. Life or Death

I don't really have anything to say this time. I said it all in the last chapter. Just, thanks for reading so far, and for all your reviews.  
  
Just a short chapter this time, sorry, couldn't think what to write.  
  
Chapter 6 - Life or Death  
  
"Abby?" she heard somewhere from above. "Abby? Can you hear me?"  
  
She opened her eyes. Susan was standing over her, tears forming in her eyes. Abby felt numb. So many questions were rushing through her mind. Where did the second shot go? Was anyone hurt? Was she going to die?  
  
"John! Josie! She's awake!" Susan yelled. They had been untied and immediately joined Susan at Abby's side. She was still lying on the floor of her apartment.  
  
"I heard another shot." She whispered.  
  
John and Josie looked over towards the door. James's body was lying there, lifeless.  
  
"The police arrived after he fired. They shot him in the back. He died instantly." John explained.  
  
The numbness in Abby's body faded away and she became aware of the intense pain in her stomach. Susan had her hand over the entrance wound in Abby's abdomen, stopping the blood flow.  
  
"The paramedics will be here any second. The police are searching James's body. The beer made him unstable, he missed your heart, aimed to low and hit you in the stomach." He paused. "How's she doing Susan?  
  
"I can't stop the bleeding. The paramedics have to get here now!"  
  
"Josie?" Abby called weakly.  
  
"Yeah?" Josie was quiet and shaking. All the blood in her cheeks had gone and she was as white as a ghost.  
  
"Are you ok?" Abby asked.  
  
"Yeah, I guess." She replied, walking away from where Abby was lying.  
  
Abby felt herself go weak. She couldn't stay awake much longer.  
  
"Abby? Abby, stay with me! Hold on for just a bit longer, you can do this, I know you can." Susan urged as she saw Abby's eyes closing. John gripped Abby's hand. She tried to squeeze it back but she didn't have the strength.  
  
She heard the paramedics rush into the room. There were so many people talking over her head. She opened her eyes. There were so many faces, but only one she was looking for. She searched the room with her eyes, looking for her daughter. Josie was sitting on the arm of the couch, unable to look at her Mum. She was staring at the body of her father. 'How could she be hurting so much over the death of someone she hated so much?' Josie was asking herself.  
  
Abby called out her name. Josie couldn't look at her. She blocked out the sight of her mother, fighting to stay alive, thinking that if she ignored it, everything would be ok. But it wouldn't. 'Nothing would ever be ok ever again', she thought to herself.  
  
"Josie," Abby muttered, as she gave up her fight to stay awake, she was so tired, she wanted to sleep She didn't want to see what the paramedics were doing to her. She just wanted to sleep.  
  
"Josie".........  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
Preview......  
  
'Josie sat, with her head buried in Susan's shoulder, crying until she had no more energy left and no more tears to cry. Susan held her until she was ready to go in, and face her Mum.'  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
Hope you enjoyed this chapter. Sorry it was so short. Longer one next, I promise. Please review! Please please please!!!!!! ;-) 


	7. Guilt Hurts

Thank you so much for all the support I have received in writing this fanfic. I am so sorry it has taken so long to write this chapter but my teachers keep insisting on giving me homework. I have started to reply to reviews now, (replies at end of page.). This chapter is really long (compared to my others anyway).  
  
Disclaimer - they still aren't mine but I still want them. It's my birthday in a couple of months, maybe I should ask for them then. Oh well, I'll have to survive with just Josie. Life is tough. Lol.  
  
Chapter 7 - Guilt hurts.  
  
Josie watched as the paramedics loaded Abby into the Ambulance. Susan walked up to her, looking concerned.  
  
"Josie? You must be pretty shaken. You ok?"  
  
Josie couldn't speak, her mouth was too dry and her throat had clammed up. She just smiled weakly at Susan, then looked down at her feet.  
  
Susan hailed them a cab to get them to the hospital, John had gone ahead in the ambulance. When they were on their way, Susan clasped Josie's hand in hers in an attempt to comfort her.  
  
"She's going to be ok. Abby's a fighter." Susan reassured her.  
  
'Poor Josie' she was thinking, 'her Dad dead and her mother fighting for her life'. Susan was unnerved by Josie's behaviour; she wasn't crying anymore, just staring straight ahead, white as a sheet and trembling. She hadn't said a word since Abby had passed out. 'Shock' Susan guessed. But it was far more superior than that. There was something brewing away inside of her that was stronger than shock or guilt, something that could erupt at anytime, with dangerous consequences. The trouble was, nobody knew it was there.  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
When they arrived at the hospital Susan got straight of the cab and paid the driver, but when she turned around, Josie hadn't moved. She was still in the same position, with the same expression she had sat with the whole way there. Susan walked round the car and opened the door.  
  
"Come on sweetie, we have to go inside."  
  
Josie looked up at her and nodded. Susan helped her out of her seat, Josie's legs didn't seem to be working properly.  
  
'Please let her still be alive' Josie was silently praying. She was cursing herself for allowing her curiosity to take over. If she hadn't tried to find Abby she'd still be ok and her Dad would still be alive. They got to the main doors of the hospital which Josie had stood outside earlier that day, willing herself to walk in. She stopped.  
  
"I can't" she whispered, "What if she's, what if my Mum is......" she couldn't bring herself to say it.  
  
"She's going to be ok." Susan assured.  
  
"But what if she isn't?" Josie screamed, "It's all my fault! All my stupid fault!"  
  
"You mustn't say that, its not your fault at all, you didn't shoot her!"  
  
"No, but I led him to her. I should never have come here!" She was sobbing uncontrollably. Her legs gave way and Susan had to grab her, before she fell to the ground. She led Josie over to the bench where her and Abby often sat and talked during their breaks. Once they were there, Josie sat, with her head buried in Susan's shoulder, crying, until she had no energy left and no more tears to cry. Susan just held her until she was ready to go in, and face her mum.  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
Eventually they entered the ER and walked down the hall to where Carter was pacing the floor. Susan was holding onto Josie, she was still weak.  
  
"John?" Susan called. He spun around to face them.  
  
"They've taken her to the OR to remove the bullet. She's going to be a while."  
  
"She's ok?" Josie whispered, still clinging to Susan.  
  
"They think so, they won't be able to know for sure until the bullet is removed," Just then Haleh walked over to them.  
  
"Why don't I take you into another room," she said, "you look like you need to sit down." The three of the followed Haleh back into Exam 1, which was still empty. Susan sat Josie down on the bed and then flopped backwards into a chair. John started pacing again.  
  
"John, sit down, she's going to be gone for hours, you can't do that until she comes out."  
  
"I can't rest, I have to do something"  
  
"Well make yourself useful and go get us some coffee's then."  
  
"Yeah, ok, I'll be back in a minute." When he was gone, Susan turned to Josie.  
  
"Josie, why don't you try to get some sleep. You must be absolutely exhausted."  
  
"I can't sleep, I'm too scared."  
  
"Just close your eyes, I'll wake you if there is any news."  
  
"Ok, I'll try." And by the time John got back with their drinks she was fast asleep.  
  
"Do you reckon she's going to be ok?" Susan asked.  
  
"I think so. Corday seemed quite optimistic. They think the bullet hit her spleen so they might have to remove it. "  
  
"You look like you could do with some sleep yourself." Susan said.  
  
"Yeah, I haven't slept in a day and a half. I was flying all night."  
  
"Try to sleep, you might feel better."  
  
"Yeah, maybe." Within ten minutes, all 3 of them were fast asleep, exhausted by the days events.  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
Susan woke up when she heard Josie tossing in her bed. She seemed quite distressed. 'Nightmare' Susan guessed. She put a hand on Josies arm to calm her down. She was very hot. Susan decided to take her temperature. When the reading showed 103.4 she decided to wake John.  
  
"John, John, wake up." She whispered.  
  
"What is it? Is it Abby?" he replied, sitting up suddenly.  
  
"No, it's Josie." She looked over at the sleeping girl, still tossing and turning.  
  
"What about her?"  
  
"She has a temperature of 103.4."  
  
"Woah, that's high! What do you think it is?"  
  
"I don't know. She seemed quite weak earlier but I assumed she was exhausted, that's all."  
  
"Mmm, me too."  
  
"We'll have to keep an eye on her. Make sure she doesn't get any worse."  
  
"Right. How long has Abby been in the OR for?" John asked. Susan checked her watch.  
  
"Three and a half hours. She should be out soon."  
  
"I hope so." Susan looked out of the window and saw Corday walking down the hallway, towards them.  
  
"I think she's out" Susan said, "there's Elizabeth."  
  
Corday knocked on the door of the exam room. John opened it while Susan woke Josie. Elizabeth walked in and sat down.  
  
"Well the bullet lodged in her spleen as we thought. We did have to remove it but the operation seemed to go well. She's very lucky."  
  
"She's alive?" Josie asked in a whisper.  
  
"Yeah, she's alive." Susan replied, grinning.  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
The three of them made their way up to the ICU where Abby was waking up. Elizabeth followed closely behind.  
  
Josie had become weaker still, and she kept rubbing her stomach, wincing in pain each time. She was still leaning on Susan for support and John had his hand on her arm, keeping her steady, as she was almost incapable of walking on her own. They reached Abby's room where she was laying with her eyes open, and a tube down her throat. John went in first with Corday. Abby's eyes lit up as he walked in the room.  
  
"Hey gorgeous, you had us worried." John said as he took her hand in his.  
  
"Abby, do you want that tube out of your mouth now?" Elizabeth asked, Abby nodded.  
  
They removed it and Abby started coughing. John handed her some water for her throat and helped her drink it.  
  
"How's Josie?" She croaked, throat still dry.  
  
"She's ok, a bit shaken. Susan's looking after her outside. You want me to get her? She can't wait to see you." Abby nodded, anxious to see her daughter again.  
  
John beckoned for Josie to enter. Susan helped her in and sat her down in the chair beside Abby's bed. Abby watched them and a cold shiver went through her body, Josie couldn't walk on her own, she was pale, something was seriously wrong, she knew it, something John hadn't told her.  
  
"You ok Honey?" Abby asked, very concerned.  
  
Josie tried to reply but she couldn't. Her stomach felt like it was going to explode with pain. She tried to stand up, to reach her mum's hand, but her knees gave way and she sunk to the floor, unconscious.  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
Review response...  
  
Gotluka'scookies – first of all, I love your name! Sorry I didn't update quickly.  
  
Coasterchick – I think Abby and Carter should always be together. Kem isn't even in this story because I don't like her. Thank you for saying it is one of the best cos even tho I don't think it is (have you read some of the others? They are amazing!) You made my day wen u said that. Thanks.  
  
Mary_kate113 – thanks for all your reviews. Hope you like this chapter.  
  
XxXxX 


	8. Together

I'm sooooo sorry it has taken me so long to update this story. Schoolwork just got in the way. I really hope this chapter is ok, I don't like it very much, but I had 2 put it in.

**Chapter 8 – Together**

As Josie collapsed, Abby started screaming.

"You calm Abby down, I'll see to Josie". John said to Susan.

He bent down over Josie's limp body to check her over. Elizabeth, alerted by Abby's screaming came rushing back in the room. Susan managed to calm Abby's screams to a small whimper. Corday and John both leant over Josie to find the problem.

"I think she had stomach pains" Susan informed them. Elizabeth felt the girls belly and soon located the problem.

"I think she has a burst appendix"

"Appendicitis" Abby whispered, "Why didn't I notice it?"

"Because she covered it up well, I guess she didn't want to worry you" Susan replied.

"I'm going to have to take her into surgery immediately" said Corday, "we need to get a gurney for her".

Susan rushed out to find one as John scooped Josie off the floor. As soon as Susan got back with the bad, he laid the girl down and Corday wheeled her out. Abby just lay in her bed, crying, until she finally fell asleep.

When Abby woke up, the first thing she noticed was the second bed next to hers. She glanced over and saw that the occupant was her own daughter, out of surgery. She had woken up and was smiling over at her mum.

"Hey". Josie said.

"Hiya Honey," Abby replied, "How you feeling?"

"Crap; you?"

"Same". They giggled.

"I was so scared I was going to lose you, I don't think I could cope loosing both parents in one day, especially so soon after I found you."

"I was scared of loosing you too, you gave us quite a scare earlier." Abby replied, tears forming in her eyes.

"This is all my fault, he'd still be alive if it wasn't for me, and you wouldn't be laying there."

"Hey! Don't say that. None of this is your fault."

"He must have read my information on you before he burnt it and followed me. I led him to you."

"James was sick. You couldn't have stopped him."

"And now he's dead." There was a pause.

"How do you feel about that?" Abby asked quietly.

"I don't know yet. I think he deserved it, because of all he's done, but I can't help hurting. He brought me up after all....I'm sorry, that wasn't a dig at you." She added.

"It's ok, I understand. I expect you to feel sad."

"Yeah, but you know what? I felt worse at the thought that you could die, than I did when he died. Does that make me ungrateful?"

"No, it makes you human. He made the last few years of your life hell, you're free from him."

"And his drinking."

Abby looked uncomfortable.

"What's up?" Josie asked.

"I have to tell you something. Umm, I'm an alcoholic too".

"What??" Josie was shocked

"But I have it under control," she added quickly, "Carter saved me, I don't drink anymore."

"So you're ok then?"

"I'm fine. Sober and happy. Not drunk and depressed."

"Ok then. But please promise me something."

"Anything."

"Please don't drink ever again. I've witnessed it in one parent; I don't think I could do that again."

"I promise. I could never do anything to hurt you."

Abby reached over to Josie's bed and took her hand in hers, and together they fell asleep. Outside the room, as he watched, John marvelled how together, these two women could take on the world, and still come out on top. They could battle all the problems life threw at them. As long as they had each other.

I think I'm going to leave the story there and call it the end. I do have other chapters but they're not really very good. I think the story has run its course. I have other stories I've been writing which I'll post in the near future. Thanks for reading this fanfic and remember.... Carby forever.

Luv Bubbles. XxXxX


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